Little Johnny jokes have entertained audiences for generations with their humorous tales of a mischievous boy named Johnny. These jokes often showcase Johnny’s cheeky remarks and clever antics, especially in interactions with teachers and family members. Here are 12 of the most famous Little Johnny jokes, each explained in simple English for easy understanding.

1. Little Johnny and the Definition of ‘Definitely’

In class, the teacher asks students to use the word “definitely” in a sentence. Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps in them?” The teacher, puzzled, replies, “No, they don’t.” Johnny then says, “Then I definitely just shat myself.”

Explanation: Johnny humorously uses the word “definitely” to describe his unfortunate situation, showcasing his literal thinking and cheeky nature.

2. Little Johnny and the Math Problem

During math class, the teacher asks, “If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?” Johnny responds, “Ten.” The teacher, confused, asks how he arrived at that number. Johnny replies, “Because I already have a cat at home!”

Explanation: Johnny’s answer is technically correct based on his personal situation, highlighting his literal interpretation of the question.

3. Little Johnny and the Essay

The teacher notices that Johnny’s essay on “My Dog” is identical to his sister’s. She accuses him of copying. Johnny replies, “No, ma’am, but it’s the same dog!”

Explanation: Johnny’s innocent explanation points out that since they share the same dog, their essays naturally ended up being the same.

4. Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees

Father to Little Johnny, ‘Well do you know about the birds and the bees?’ In response, Johnny blurts out, “I don’t want to know!” and bursts into tears. Puzzled, the man calls his son and asks what the issue is. Johnny cries: Me, Santa Claus at six? There was none for me, Easter Bunny at seven? there was not any, Tooth Fairy at eight? no one, not at all. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!

Explanation: Johnny, half-joking, says that he does not want to learn other myths – adult ones – because he knows that the truth will destroy his remaining dreams.

5. Little Johnny and the Sunday School Lesson

During Sunday school, the teacher asks, “Where is Jesus today?” Susie replies, “He’s in heaven.” Mary says, “He’s in my heart.” Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!” The teacher asks, “How do you know this?” Johnny replies, “Every morning, my father bangs on the bathroom door and yells, ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there!?'”

Explanation: Johnny amusingly interprets his father’s exclamation as a literal indication of Jesus’s location.

6. Little Johnny and the Special ‘Adults’ Evening’

Little Johnny comes home and tells his dad, “Tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.” His dad, surprised, asks, “Really? Special?” Johnny nods and says, “Yes, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster, and two police officers.”

Explanation: Johnny’s description suggests that the “special evening” is actually a serious meeting about his behavior, involving authorities.

7. Little Johnny and the Cow

Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The mayor sees him and asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?” Johnny replies, “I’m taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant.” The mayor, shocked, says, “Surely your father should be doing that?” Johnny thinks and says, “Nah, I think it’s really best left with the bulls.”

Explanation: Johnny misunderstands the mayor’s suggestion, taking it literally and humorously implying that his father shouldn’t be involved in breeding the cow.

8. Little Johnny and the Late Arrival

Teacher: “It’s the fourth time you’re late for school this week, Johnny! Do you know what that means?!” Johnny: “That it’s Thursday, Miss Bramwell.”

Explanation: Johnny’s witty response points out that being late four times means it’s the fourth day of the week, showcasing his cheeky attitude.

9. Little Johnny and the Island

Teacher: “What is an island?” Johnny: “A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.” Teacher: “On one side?” Johnny: “Yes, on top!”

Explanation: Johnny cleverly points out that while an island is surrounded by water, the land itself is exposed on top, adding a humorous twist to the definition.

10. Little Johnny and the Math Question

During math class, the teacher asks, “If I have 7 apples in one hand and 6 apples in the other, what do I have?” Johnny replies, “Very big hands!”

Explanation: Johnny’s humorous answer focuses on the physical improbability of holding so many apples rather than solving the math problem as intended.

11. Little Johnny and the Geography Lesson

The teacher asks the class, “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?” Johnny confidently answers, “At the bottom!”

Explanation: Johnny’s literal interpretation of the question leads to a humorous response, as he refers to the physical placement of signatures on the document rather than the historical location.

12. Little Johnny and the Spelling Challenge

The teacher asks Little Johnny to start a sentence with the word “I.” Johnny begins, “I is…” The teacher interrupts, correcting him: “No, it’s ‘I am.'” Johnny responds, “Okay, I am the alphabet’s 9th letter.”

Explanation: Johnny cleverly uses the teacher’s correction to create a grammatically correct sentence, demonstrating his quick thinking and understanding of language nuances.

These Little Johnny jokes continue to entertain with their blend of innocence, wit, and humor, showcasing the timeless appeal of this classic character.